This is a rewrite to better conform to the assignment. I hope I’ve improved it.
I was sitting in my kitchen with my brother Armis, his wife Abby, my sister Eva and several of our friends the other night. We had just finished eating a great meal prepared by Armis. My friend Joe and Eva’s new boyfriend Jordan were there too. We were having a great time laughing and telling stories. Armis, Abby and Eva were my closest friends in addition to my siblings.
“Hey, you better watch your mouth Jordan, or Katie will go get her broom,” said Armis laughing.
I made a face at my older brother, while they all laughed.
“What’s the deal with the broom,” Jordan asked looking confused.
“Hasn’t anyone told you about Katie and her broom?” asked Armis.
Jordan shook his head.
Joe said he’d never heard it either.
“Well, this was when we were younger. I was a senior…” Armis started to tell the story.
“Wait,” I interrupted him, “Can I tell the story this time? You always make me sound like some kind of ax murderer or something.”
“I would love to hear YOUR version of the story,” laughed Armis playfully.
I made a face at him and pretended to punch him. We all laughed because I’m a tiny little woman and Armis is a big guy.
“As Armis said, this happened a long time ago, when we were all still living at home,” I began when everyone had settled back down. “There was going to be a long holiday weekend coming up and everyone had plans to go away for the entire weekend. No one was expected to be home until Monday night. I was going to be home all alone.” I made my eyes real big and pouted like a child and Joe patted my head sympathetically.
“On Saturday night there was a huge storm,” I continued. “The wind was howling through the trees, lightning streaked across the sky and the thunder boomed. The branches of the trees were scraping against the window,” I paused and looked around, leaned in and whispered, “As if something wanted in.”
Then sitting back I said, “So I put on the stereo headphones because I didn’t want to hear those spooky noises.”
They all laughed.
“Along about midnight I’m in the kitchen cleaning,” I continued. “Armis comes home, unexpectedly early. Now he sees that I have on the stereo headphones and I don’t know he’s there. So he sneaks up behind me and grabs me from behind. I jumped out of my skin, swung around and hit him with the broom.”
I stopped and sighed. “Now he’s laying on my linoleum, bleeding. I thought I’d killed him. I call for an ambulance and they take him to the hospital. Now I have to explain to the doctor what I’ve done.
“This man stands 6 foot 2. I am 4, 11. I weigh 97 pounds fully clothed and soaking wet and I have decked this man with a BROOM. I had every doctor, every nurse, every orderly come down and look at me, then look at him and then look back at me like I was Mike Tyson or something. It was embarrassing.”
I picked up my coffee and shook my head ruefully.
“Embarrassing,” laughed Armis looking around the table. “Embarrassing, I’m laying in the hospital with three broken ribs and she’s embarrassed.”
“You broke three of his ribs,” asked Jordan incredulously.
“Hey, I swing a mean broom,” I said leaning back in my seat satisfied that I had told the story well.
After a few moments Jordan asked suspiciously, “Did that really happen?”
I just smiled.